As I mentioned in my previous newsletter, life sent me a bit of a curve-ball a couple weeks ago. Long story short, a trampoline accident left me with a fractured ankle and I am now confined to crutches and an ankle boot.
For Lent this year, I had originally decided to sleep on the floor as part of my effort to be free of my need for comfort, but with the tender care and elevation that my ankle needed, I figured this wouldn’t be feasible anymore. Other sacrifices I planned to do on a weekly basis included putting a pebble in my shoe and taking cold showers; but then every shower became a slippery confrontation with death, and my plans were turned upside down.
I was a little upset at first that I had to change my sacrifices, but I soon realized that there are other lessons the Lord clearly saw as more important for me to learn this Lenten season.
It’s amazing how difficult the little necessities of daily life become when you only have the use of one foot and your hands are perpetually preoccupied. For the past two weeks, I have needed to rely on others for almost everything–carrying my things, driving me places, helping me up and down the stairs, doing my chore, photographing our events, etc.
Though experienced differently than I expected, being on crutches has actually enhanced my attempt to be free of comfort and more self-disciplined, while also teaching me valuable lessons in the areas of dependency, trust, humility and receptivity.
It’s forced me to slow down and let go of feeling like my productivity is what makes me valuable. It’s forced me to let people love me and get over my insecurity of feeling like I’m a burden to them. It’s forced me to let go of control and delegate more. It’s forced me to trust that the Lord will pick up the pieces and get me back to health in time for me to complete my various duties.
It’s made space for me to complete the pile of computer work that had been put on the back burner behind my other priorities. It’s made space for me to practice self-discipline when I could easily use my inabilities as an excuse to spend hours on Netflix. It’s made space for me to love others in new ways that wouldn’t normally be my default. It’s made space for deeper contemplation.
I am suffering, and I do need your prayers; but I couldn’t be more grateful for the way this challenge is stretching me. My physical body may be in a pickle, but my spiritual well-being soars. Praise God for his many graces and blessings!
P.S. I am seeing a specialist this Friday, where I’ll find out what treatment I need next. Please pray that all goes well and that I can be off crutches and out of the boot soon!